If I Fall
by Echante
Summary: Set in the upcoming cross-overs, highly unlikely but hopefully true. Heh. Mark and Addison find themselves with a daughter they didn't know they had, and feelings they didn't know existed.


A/N: Cross-over! Mark and Addison! I'm so excited! OH MY GOD! So in honor of that, I took the time to actually write. Hopefully its a little bit good.

Swept away  
By the wonder of it all  
So amazed  
Never saw it coming  
Left me dazed  
And i don't know where to turn

Here and now  
Seems i'm standing on the edge  
Looking down  
I can clearly see your face  
In the crowd  
Makes me feel i'm not alone

If I fall  
Will you catch me

Seems to me  
I'm exactly where i dreamt  
I would be  
And the view from here is  
Something to see  
But i need a hand to hold on to

If I fall  
Will you catch me

He has this dream, not every night; sometimes not for weeks, but on special days it comes. He's drowning, in a sea of red; but his struggle is half hearted. He kisses his abductor. He smiles in his agony. There's a tinge of nostalgia, a hint of love, and a douse of passion. Then he wakes up, and he's in his room, wrapped around his girlfriend. And he wonders aloud what it all meant. But silently, he knows.

He finds himself frowning more often than not. There's a sadness ingrained, there's a fear involved. He hasn't been this way since the day she left New York. He fingers the television and toys with the channel, knowing that his girlfriend can never know the depths of his discontent. He's shaky, he's angry, and there's a growing discontent lingering in the depths of his soul. There's a void he can't fill.

His daughter showed up on his doorstep the other night, the daughter he'd forgotten he had. Seeing her was strange. It was like a mirror that mildly contorts your face. His eyes journey downwards and he gasps. Then he collapses.

He woke up to his girlfriend screaming and suddenly remembered where he was and then, he knew what he had to do, that being said, he demand a phone.

"Addison." He says, desperation seeping through, "I need you."

XXXXXX

"Mark." Addison said, frantically rushing towards him, "what's wrong? Why couldn't you tell me over the phone?"

He hesitates gently and then in one swift motion, pulls open the curtain revealing the girl, "Remember the baby we gave up twenty-three or so years ago?"

XXXXXX

"This is my mother?" She asks.

Addison was still speechless, he mouth hung open, her eyes glazed.

"She'd talk but she's in a shock-induced coma right now."

"Did they keep your name?" Addison asked.

"Addy."

"What's your name?" She repeated.

The girl looked up at her mother, blue eyes sparking, "Madeline," she said, "my name, is Madeline."

Addison smiled a soft smile, "Thank God."

Madeline smiled, "So… you guys aren't still together… what happened?"

Mark groaned, "Do you really want to hear this story?"

Curious, Madeline smiled, "yes."

"Fine. But you never repeat this okay? Ever."

"Deal."

XXXXXX

"It was a long time ago, we were both in high school and we met at this party for a mutual friend of ours… I guess it was a start of a string of ill-timed, alcohol-induced mistakes. We were 18, just out of high school and full of hormones. Apparently, Addison had been a bit of a geek until the end of it, but she looked amazing," he hesitated, seeing as she was right beside him, "she looked hot." He corrected. "Anyway, she stayed in a corner the entire time… so naturally, I needed to get her some beer. Couple shots later, and it turns out she's a lightweight." Addison slapped him on the shoulder lightly, laughing, "I gave her the beer and she took it, with a strange look on her face."

Addison murmured, "I didn't think you'd noticed me."

Mark looked over at her, for a moment forgetting they were not alone. He raised his hands and moved the hair from her face, "Of course I did."

Madeline coughed, and Mark and Addison turned away embarrassed, "Anyway," Mark continued, "I spent the rest of the night with her and at the very end, she surprised me and led me to some fancy beach house and we made loved."

Addison coughed, "Seriously? It wasn't making loved hon, that was pure booze-fucking."

"Come on babe," Mark laughed, "you loved my sweet ass the minute you set eyes on it."

Addison hit him.

Mark grinned and turned to Madeline, "See? She has nothing to say."

"Shut-up."

"No."

"I'm going to finish the story," Addison said.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Go."

"Basically, I wanted my first time to be all romantic so we went to the Hamptons… and we… well we did it on the beach," a small blush spread across her cheeks, "We were… we were really drunk, so I don't think we used protection… A month later, I peed on a stick and it turned blue… and I told Mark, and then I freaked out and told my Mom, and she freaked. She sent me away… I spent the first semester of college studying, 'abroad,' aka with my relatives in Europe, and she forced me to give you up." Tears began making their way into her glossy eyes, "I wanted to go to college so she convinced me," she hugged her daughter, "I'm so sorry. I don't know if you can ever forgive me but I hope so. I really do."

"Addison…" Madeline soothed her, "It's fine. Don't worry about it."

She nodded while Mark grabbed her by the shoulder and hugged her to him, rubbing her arms, and took over, "Short-story, I was a man-whore and idiot and screwed it all up with her. She, by some grace from God, stayed friends with me, and I introduced her to my best friend and after six months he got up the guts to ask her out. A year and a half later, they were married. 11 years later, she cheated on him with me and then moved here to be with him. I moved here to be with her and then…" there's a tiny bit of hurt in his voice when he talks about this, and Addison looks up at him in surprise, "then she left.

There's stunned silence when he finishes, and the story sits in the air awhile, time had given it power.

"Anyway," Mark finally broke the silence, "That's it."

"Mark?" Addison asks cautiously, "Why is she in the hospital?"

"Mom?" Madeline says sweetly, "Well… we're kinda exactly the same."

Addison's eyes dropped to her kid's belly, "Oh shit."

XXXXXX

The walk out of the hospital was awkward, the only words she could find to otter was, "I'm leaving tomorrow night I guess… or well… I'm supposed to but I guess I'm not. You blew this on me."

"We can go to L.A. with you."

"What?"

"I already cleared it with Richard, we can come with you… you'll be more at home, you'll have your own tools or whatever you need."

"You want me to treat her?"

Mark's voice was tired and strained, "I trust you." He tells her, "I wouldn't let anyone else touch her."

Addison nodded, "Okay…" she paused, "what about Lexie Grey?" She smiled.

"What about her?"

"Does she know about us?"

He mumbled, "No…"

"And you want it to stay that way?" Addison ventured.

"Yes."

"Okay." She sighed, "You know, for what's its worth… I did love you." She laughed, "Even when you were screwing around on me with every girl in the tri-state area, I was still convinced that you were the love of my life that I gave up my marriage rightly."

Mark stopped mid-step, and then started shaking, angrily, "I don't want to hear that, not now, not when I tried so hard to forget you. Not when I dream about this moment for so long, only to have you throw it in my face again and again." He was beginning to shout, "Not now damnit!"

"You cheated on me Mark, that was unforgiveable."

"How do you explain what you did to Derek?"

Addison stopped begging, "I thought you understood," she said, a growl in the undertone, "I thought you, of all the fucking people in this world would understand. Fuck you. Go home to your wife."

"I'm not fucking married Addison!"

"Go. Away."

"Fine." And he walked away into the darkness.

XXXXXX

He took the ferry to work on purpose the next morning. He knew she'd be there, even though neither of them needed to travel that way. She was standing on the edge of the railing, staring into the Puget Sound. He walked over and stood next to her and stared in the same direction. They never asked for forgiveness, it was always understood. He thought over his night of little sleep, his girlfriend's brown hair splayed across a feminine pillow-case. He studied her face, peaceful in the dead of night, beautiful in the moonlight. Addison had never been neutral, she either was tortured or ecstatic, guilty or on the moon. She didn't know a middle ground. He'd always worry over which one it would be. He would celebrate at the first hint of a smile; he'd never sleep if she started to frown.

She started the reconciliation, "You remember my wedding day?"

Mark grimaced, "Yes."

"You got really drunk."

"There was too much happiness. I was ready to fall over and die."

"You're a fucking masochist, you know that?" she fingered the edge of a coffee cup and then took a sip and laughed, "You always were."

"We all were, that's why we were friends."

"No." Addison sighed, "Derek was always happy. I kinda feel like I took that from him… his innocence is gone."

The silence allows the words to soak in.

"Addison… you have to know that was not your fault."

She laughs bitterly, "Are you sure about that? Because I remember several instances where I was called Satan…"

He frowns, closes his eyes and touches his temple and then says, "Addy… tell me what happened. Tell me what happened."

He watched pained as Addison recollected the time she spent in Derek's prison, spilling the crimes he committed against her, and watching the amounting animosity against his best friend burn in his heart. And it was right there, watching Addison break down in front of him, that he realized and unfortunate truth, he would never stop loving the mother of his child.

XXXXXX

The morning Lexie Grey realized her boyfriend was never coming back was the same as any other morning. She woke up to the alarm, he had already left for work so she took a shower. She camp out of the bathroom towel drying her hair and stopped abruptly when she reached the kitchen table. There was a letter placed in the center, and she knew. He was gone.

_Dear Lexie, my little Grey,_

_ There are so many things I should explain to you about my time in New York, but I don't think you would understand. Just know that you are wonderful, and I loved you beyond imagination, honestly. But when she calls me, I go running and I'm sorry that you are punished for loving a weak man. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with a destiny twenty-years in the making. I'm sorry. I'll love you forever… _

_ Mark Sloan._

XXXXXX

The morning Mark Sloan woke up to red hair instead of brown, he was strangely electrified. He studied the pale face in front of him and his heart skipped a beat as her skin touched his own. Her blue-green eyes met his in a startling moment and he loved her beyond anything in the world.

"Hi." She whispered, smiling at him.

"I love you." He tells her, lips moving towards hers.

"I love you too." He can feels the words against his lips and he smiles, and he knows that the emptiness has lifted.


End file.
